My Girlfriend Does Porn

The movie I Love You Man has a fantastic line about porn and your girlfriend.  At once point Jason Segel’s character discovers that his new friend has an abhorrent masturbation habit.

“Wait, you jacked off to a picture of your own girlfriend?  You… That… Wow.  That is sick.  Oh my god what is wrong with you?”

I always liked that line, it’s super funny, but I also think I noticed it because most of the time that is what I do.  Indirectly, at least.

There are plenty of painfully sexy women and men in porno and that is hard not to notice but, for me personally, pornography has always been hot because of the situation, not the actress.  Yes, Joanna Angel is sexy, so is Tori Black, and so is anyone else with a great body, “fuck me” smile, and an enthusiastic love of devouring cock on film.  I will admit that, many times, when I shoot my tiny soldiers off into the darkness these are the women who flash through my head or across my computer screen.  I love porn.

But for some reason, almost all of the time, I am actually thinking about my girlfriend.

This seems like an oxymoron but it’s not.  Like I said, I watch porn for the situations, positions, and energy more than the people.  When Angelina Crow is getting plowed in the ass by a dick; as I watch her tiny frame push up and down on it, sliding in and out of her tight body as she bucks and trembles, I am picturing my own girlfriend in her place. 

Is that weird?

What is sexier than seeing the woman you love let loose in all sorts of raunchy situations?  It’s like the best of both worlds, the freedom and playfulness of fucking when you are single and the deep, sexy, indescribable connection of making love to your soul mate.  In reality, me and her have already done most everything I could see in a porno, given a few notable exceptions, so the fantasy is not that far off.  In addition, my girlfriend is really, really fucking hot.

Like any anonymous blog, your first reaction should be a massive eyeroll.  The net is crawling with average couples looking to share there kink who just can’t compete with the glossy sheen of porn from the valley and starlets fresh off the Los Angeles greyhound.  We are not the case.  I’m not arrogant enough to speak for myself, I will let your imagination be the judge of that, but my girlfriend is more gorgeous than anyone you could imagine.   We are in our early twenties and she is in her very, very early twenties.  Let’s just say that she could legally be a stripper but not get a drink at the bar after work.  She has big beautiful brown eyes and a perfect frame, thin and graceful but with the curves of a woman and the good genes where it counts.  Her spirit animal is a baby, doe-eyed dear, that loves to fuck.  In porno terms, she is a solid mix of:

Jasmine Arabia’s legs, bodyframe and hairstyle

Riley Mason’s face, skintone, and faux-innocent swagger

Tory Lane’s tits, ass and insatiable sexual attitude

But I don’t think of her when I am watching porn because of the way that she looks, or the way that we fuck when we are together, but because I love her.  It’s sick, I know.